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keep it consensual: ask first!

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(con)sensual is a dynamic, sex-positive campaign about enthusiastic consent. The campaign works to create safe spaces for dialogue on consent, educate college students about consent and their sexual rights, and encourage young people to integrate consent into their sexual practices. We love sex, and we love you. We live online here and on Twitter. (Our website is on the way.)

(con)sensual currently lives at American University in Washington, DC, where it was founded in 2009. The campaign will be available to all campuses nationwide within the year.

twitter.com/keepconsensual:

    "Researchers gave a group of men and women quotes from the British lad mags FHM, Loaded, Nuts and Zoo, as well as excerpts from interviews with actual convicted rapists originally published in the book The Rapist Files. The participants couldn’t reliably identify which statements came from magazines and which from rapists — what’s more, they rated the magazine quotes as slightly more derogatory than the statements made by men serving time for raping women. The researchers also showed both sets of quotes to a separate group of men — the men were more likely to identify with the rapists’ statements than the lad mag excerpts. The only slightly bright spot in the study: when researchers randomly (and sometimes incorrectly) labelled the quotes as coming from either rapists or magazines, the men were more likely to identify with the ones allegedly drawn from mags. At least they didn’t want to agree with rapists."
    — 2 years ago with 609 notes
    #lad mags  #rape culture  #consent 
    sexismandthecity:

I was wearing pants the night it happened.
manincolor:

Saturday, I participated in SlutWalk NYC which, in the shortest terms, is a movement intended to “end victim-blaming and gender-based violence… & make a unified statement about sexual assault and victims’ rights and to demand respect for all,” among other very powerful and necessary goals. More information can be found at http://slutwalknyc.com/
However, for me, it also became a deeply powerful and personal experience. Ever since I can remember, I have been a very feminist-minded gay male and have been a huge supporter of true equality, justice, in addition to social & sexual reform. I have also always been a staunch opponent of violence, sexual abuse, human trafficking, inequality, racism, and a variety of societal constructs that this country has unfortunately been built upon. That all harshly deepened when I became a victim survivor of an all too common sexual assault known as rape on the night of December 12th, 2009. I was not beaten. It was not completely random. But it still happened. The idea for my sign which says, “I Was Wearing PANTS The Night It Happened” stemmed as a sarcasm-fueled response to recent comments made by Brooklyn NYPD officers. They were reported as criticizing the clothing choices of women on the street because they were “showing too much skin” which would incite rapists to target “girls like them.” With my sign, I wanted to illustrate a few points: 
1. Your clothing does not cause rape. 2. RAPISTS CAUSE RAPE. 3. Victims SURVIVORS are not to blame, RAPISTS ARE. 4. Men can and do suffer through this too. 
While women are usually the faces of rape, because it’s such a disgustingly common occurrence amongst them, there are men who deal with the issue as well. I walked to Union Square and in the march by myself, but I found myself surrounded by all different kinds of beautiful people marching in solidarity and in support of the same causes. Several people either complimented my outfit, verbally appreciated my sign, or simply photographed me standing/walking with my sign. There were many spirited and creative minds who illustrated their slogans of support or even their own stories on their signs, all of which made me feel comfortable and unafraid. Any frustration and anger I could have held onto flew into the sky alongside chants of, “Whose bodies? OUR BODIES!” and “No more silence! No more violence!” I felt free. And unashamed. 
After the march, a rally was held in Union Square. There was a variety of poets, performers and speakers all sharing their thoughts and struggles dealing with the issues related to SlutWalk. While the more immediate emotions rose through their words and into my heart, many of them really got me to think a bit more critically about the bigger picture and my future as a potential activist. All in all, SlutWalk NYC was one of the more fulfilling experiences I have taken part in when looking at my life thus far.
Some may wonder why I’ve decided to share these things about Saturday and my personal history on Tumblr (and by way of Facebook). I say it’s because I have nothing to be ashamed about. Nothing. My experience does not define me, but it is a part of who I am now. I have moved past the horrors of my past and onto a stage in my life where I can work towards change for others through art and activism. I am now so much stronger and understand the evils of the world a little bit more clearly. Most importantly, I feel now that silence will bring me nowhere. There may be another young person who will find this post and identify with my story. I’d want them to know that they have nothing to shame themselves for because it is not their fault. They need to know that they will overcome this and that they can make things better for themselves because things won’t get better on their own. They need to know that their strength exists and it’s up to them to use it. Lastly, I fervently believe that you should not have to change who you are, how you identify, how you make yourself feel comfortable, or how you present yourself because someone has a problem with it. That is THEIR problem. Also, I believe that sexual history is irrelevant as long as you remain healthy and practice safe behaviors that do not TRULY endanger you or your partner. However, please remember one thing. If their problem evolves into something more than just a story and into something that is burned onto your skin for the rest of your life, take the time to heal those wounds. Some aren’t as lucky to make it out alive. And always, just remember that you are not a victim. 
You are a survivor.

    sexismandthecity:

    I was wearing pants the night it happened.

    manincolor:

    Saturday, I participated in SlutWalk NYC which, in the shortest terms, is a movement intended to “end victim-blaming and gender-based violence… & make a unified statement about sexual assault and victims’ rights and to demand respect for all,” among other very powerful and necessary goals. More information can be found at http://slutwalknyc.com/

    However, for me, it also became a deeply powerful and personal experience. Ever since I can remember, I have been a very feminist-minded gay male and have been a huge supporter of true equality, justice, in addition to social & sexual reform. I have also always been a staunch opponent of violence, sexual abuse, human trafficking, inequality, racism, and a variety of societal constructs that this country has unfortunately been built upon. That all harshly deepened when I became a victim survivor of an all too common sexual assault known as rape on the night of December 12th, 2009. I was not beaten. It was not completely random. But it still happened.

    The idea for my sign which says, “I Was Wearing PANTS The Night It Happened” stemmed as a sarcasm-fueled response to recent comments made by Brooklyn NYPD officers. They were reported as criticizing the clothing choices of women on the street because they were “showing too much skin” which would incite rapists to target “girls like them.” With my sign, I wanted to illustrate a few points:

    1. Your clothing does not cause rape.
    2. RAPISTS CAUSE RAPE.
    3. Victims SURVIVORS are not to blame, RAPISTS ARE.
    4. Men can and do suffer through this too. 

    While women are usually the faces of rape, because it’s such a disgustingly common occurrence amongst them, there are men who deal with the issue as well. I walked to Union Square and in the march by myself, but I found myself surrounded by all different kinds of beautiful people marching in solidarity and in support of the same causes. Several people either complimented my outfit, verbally appreciated my sign, or simply photographed me standing/walking with my sign. There were many spirited and creative minds who illustrated their slogans of support or even their own stories on their signs, all of which made me feel comfortable and unafraid. Any frustration and anger I could have held onto flew into the sky alongside chants of, “Whose bodies? OUR BODIES!” and “No more silence! No more violence!”

    I felt free. And unashamed. 

    After the march, a rally was held in Union Square. There was a variety of poets, performers and speakers all sharing their thoughts and struggles dealing with the issues related to SlutWalk. While the more immediate emotions rose through their words and into my heart, many of them really got me to think a bit more critically about the bigger picture and my future as a potential activist. All in all, SlutWalk NYC was one of the more fulfilling experiences I have taken part in when looking at my life thus far.

    Some may wonder why I’ve decided to share these things about Saturday and my personal history on Tumblr (and by way of Facebook). I say it’s because I have nothing to be ashamed about. Nothing. My experience does not define me, but it is a part of who I am now. I have moved past the horrors of my past and onto a stage in my life where I can work towards change for others through art and activism. I am now so much stronger and understand the evils of the world a little bit more clearly. Most importantly, I feel now that silence will bring me nowhere. There may be another young person who will find this post and identify with my story. I’d want them to know that they have nothing to shame themselves for because it is not their fault. They need to know that they will overcome this and that they can make things better for themselves because things won’t get better on their own. They need to know that their strength exists and it’s up to them to use it.

    Lastly, I fervently believe that you should not have to change who you are, how you identify, how you make yourself feel comfortable, or how you present yourself because someone has a problem with it. That is THEIR problem. Also, I believe that sexual history is irrelevant as long as you remain healthy and practice safe behaviors that do not TRULY endanger you or your partner. However, please remember one thing. If their problem evolves into something more than just a story and into something that is burned onto your skin for the rest of your life, take the time to heal those wounds. Some aren’t as lucky to make it out alive. And always, just remember that you are not a victim.

    You are a survivor.

    (via equalityandthecity)

    — 2 years ago with 398 notes
    #SlutWalk  #NYC  #Survivor  #March  #Rally  #Rape Culture  #Gay  #Freedom  #Pride  #consent 

    theoceanic:

    tyrawm:

    Photos my sister took at the Slutwalk 

    Tink is in the middle photo with the American flag shirt!

    (Source: 1093-cwtugilot, via cuntinuuum)

    — 2 years ago with 26 notes
    #Slutwalk  #feminist  #union square  #rape culture  #protest  #new york c  #New York City  #NYC  #women  #rape  #consent 
    "The culturally established “no means no” is too low a bar. Only yes means yes. And I’m not talking about an “I guess we could…” or an “I don’t really care….” or an “Only if you really want to….” or a “Might as well…” I’m talking about an enthusiastic, excited, sustained “Yes!” Are those “yesses” less frequent than the non-committal, hesitant “not-nos?” Yeah, they are, but it’s worth it to know that the people you’re fooling around with really want to fool around with you, too."
    Emily Heist Moss
    The Good Men Project - You Can Get Laid Without Being a Jerk (via lexywagner)

    (Source: landlocked-selkie)

    — 2 years ago with 23 notes
    #college  #feminism  #women  #sex  #rape  #rape culture  #feminist  #consent 

    Slutwalk Burlington went amazingly! Thank you to everyone who came and supported.

    If you’d like to see more photos, or upload your own, visit our flickr group:

    http://www.flickr.com/groups/slutwalkburlington/

    WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU’RE UNDER ATTACK?

    STAND UP FIGHT BACK.

    (via pramlattas-hips-deactivated2013)

    — 2 years ago with 403 notes
    #slutwalk  #slut shaming  #slut walk  #burlington  #vermont  #friends  #rape culture  #consent 
    thatopinionatedblog:

Slut Walk Portland 2011
Sign says: “Not ashamed. Not intimidated. Not under control. Not pretending I can’t see rape culture. Not waiting as if it might go away on its own. Not asking politely.” 

    thatopinionatedblog:

    Slut Walk Portland 2011

    Sign says: “Not ashamed. Not intimidated. Not under control. Not pretending I can’t see rape culture. Not waiting as if it might go away on its own. Not asking politely.” 

    (via feminismisforlovers)

    — 2 years ago with 410 notes
    #slut walk  #sexual assault  #rape  #rape culture  #consent 
    karamundy:

This is a friend of mine at SlutWalk Tampa 2011. I drew the troll face for her.

    karamundy:

    This is a friend of mine at SlutWalk Tampa 2011. I drew the troll face for her.

    — 2 years ago with 22 notes
    #rape  #rape culture  #consent  #draw  #drawn  #troll  #trolling  #troll face  #meme  #protest  #U Mad Rapist?  #U Mad  #Kara  #Mundy  #Kara Mundy  #Slut  #walk  #SlutWalk  #Slutwalk Tampa  #2011 
    "I believe that consent consists of wanting to have sex or do another activity. In practical terms, when you’re with a non-telepath, consent requires expressing that desire, but the expression still isn’t the important part; the desire is."
    Holly Pervocracy on Rape Culture and consent (via kangofu-cb)
    — 2 years ago with 18 notes
    #rape  #rape culture  #consent 
    Dear Facebook - Take A Stand Against Rape Culture! →

    whereisyourline:

    The following are actual pages on Facebook:  ”Raping your mates girlfriend to see if she can put up a fight”, “Kicking Sluts in the Vagina,” “I know a silly little bitch that needs a good slap,” and “Riding your Girlfriend softly, Cause you dont want to wake her up.” These clearly are in violation of Facebook’s own policies and need to be removed!

    — 2 years ago with 11 notes
    #rape culture  #rape  #facebook  #policy violations  #mark zuckerberg 
    stfurapeculture:

[image: an anonymous question on tumblr, which asks, “I have a question. If you were to consent to sex (with no manipulation,  no force, etc.), have sex, and wake up the next morning regretting it,  that is not rape, right? (I’m sorry for that horrible sentence  structure, I’m having trouble wording out the question.) It’s not rape  because you completely consented to it, right? You’re just regretting  your decision for whatever reason.”]
If you have sex and you consented to it without any physical or non-physical coercion, and you were not under the influence of alcohol or drugs or any kind, and your consent was enthusiastic—i.e., you wanted to have sex, enjoyed having sex, were an active and willing participant in sex, but the next day for whatever reason, you feel think that it wasn’t such a great idea and you wish it hadn’t happened, that would not be rape. It is possible for this to happen. It’s happened to me, in fact.
That being said, quite often we see people saying, ‘regretting it the next day is NOT rape’ in a smarmy way as if everyone who later says they were raped is making it up because now they wish they hadn’t had consensual sex. If you freely gave your consent and were not in any way coerced, you are more than likely not going to say later that it was rape. That would be a false rape accusation. And the amount of unfounded rape accusations (which includes false accusations as well as cases where the police could not find enough evidence, etc) is around 8-10%.
It seems frighteningly common for people to have sex which one party thinks was consensual and the other thinks was not. This is why it’s so important to have open discussions about consent and what freely given consent looks like. This is something that we all need to consider when we’re engaging in sexual activity with partners. Have they been drinking or doing drugs? Have they given you firm verbal consent? Does their body language match what they’ve said? Do they seem uncomfortable with anything you’re doing? Are they participating actively—are they touching you back? Are you complying with any boundaries they’ve established (I don’t want to be touched here; I’m comfortable going as far as this, but not doing that, etc)? Is this their first time? Do you know this person well enough to read their nonverbal cues or should you be more overt in asking what they want and what’s okay? Does your partner experience body dysphoria? Past experiences that result in them being triggered by certain things? Do you know what those things are so you can avoid doing them?
This is not even an exhaustive list. Consent is not only verbal. It is not the absence of protest. It is not a one-time thing. It is continuous throughout your sexual encounter—consent can be revoked at any time and it’s your job to be alert to changes in your partner’s comfort/willingness to have sex. Consenting once is not consenting to have sex again. If you (generally, not just to this anon) feel like this is too much  work and you just get the other person to say the magic “yes” at the  beginning of the encounter, then you’re taking the risk that your partner really wasn’t giving you meaningful consent and you may be accused of sexual assault.
*ahem* End of consent rambling. I hope this answered your question. :)

    stfurapeculture:

    [image: an anonymous question on tumblr, which asks, “I have a question. If you were to consent to sex (with no manipulation, no force, etc.), have sex, and wake up the next morning regretting it, that is not rape, right? (I’m sorry for that horrible sentence structure, I’m having trouble wording out the question.) It’s not rape because you completely consented to it, right? You’re just regretting your decision for whatever reason.”]

    If you have sex and you consented to it without any physical or non-physical coercion, and you were not under the influence of alcohol or drugs or any kind, and your consent was enthusiastic—i.e., you wanted to have sex, enjoyed having sex, were an active and willing participant in sex, but the next day for whatever reason, you feel think that it wasn’t such a great idea and you wish it hadn’t happened, that would not be rape. It is possible for this to happen. It’s happened to me, in fact.

    That being said, quite often we see people saying, ‘regretting it the next day is NOT rape’ in a smarmy way as if everyone who later says they were raped is making it up because now they wish they hadn’t had consensual sex. If you freely gave your consent and were not in any way coerced, you are more than likely not going to say later that it was rape. That would be a false rape accusation. And the amount of unfounded rape accusations (which includes false accusations as well as cases where the police could not find enough evidence, etc) is around 8-10%.

    It seems frighteningly common for people to have sex which one party thinks was consensual and the other thinks was not. This is why it’s so important to have open discussions about consent and what freely given consent looks like. This is something that we all need to consider when we’re engaging in sexual activity with partners. Have they been drinking or doing drugs? Have they given you firm verbal consent? Does their body language match what they’ve said? Do they seem uncomfortable with anything you’re doing? Are they participating actively—are they touching you back? Are you complying with any boundaries they’ve established (I don’t want to be touched here; I’m comfortable going as far as this, but not doing that, etc)? Is this their first time? Do you know this person well enough to read their nonverbal cues or should you be more overt in asking what they want and what’s okay? Does your partner experience body dysphoria? Past experiences that result in them being triggered by certain things? Do you know what those things are so you can avoid doing them?

    This is not even an exhaustive list. Consent is not only verbal. It is not the absence of protest. It is not a one-time thing. It is continuous throughout your sexual encounter—consent can be revoked at any time and it’s your job to be alert to changes in your partner’s comfort/willingness to have sex. Consenting once is not consenting to have sex again. If you (generally, not just to this anon) feel like this is too much work and you just get the other person to say the magic “yes” at the beginning of the encounter, then you’re taking the risk that your partner really wasn’t giving you meaningful consent and you may be accused of sexual assault.

    *ahem* End of consent rambling. I hope this answered your question. :)

    — 2 years ago with 20 notes
    #rape  #rape culture  #consent 
    Just for the record

    puffandruffle:

    Sex can be fun, funny, angry, passive, dominant, submissive, public, private, tender, fast, slow, loving, full of laughter or full of tears. It can be life affirming. It can be all about the emotions and it can be emotionless. Sex can be with one person or 6 people. It can be any combination of anything you want. It can be about fantasy and it can be about reality. Sex is anything you want it to be, and most importantly,

    Sex is about consent.

    Rape is only ever about one thing: power. 

    — 2 years ago with 40 notes
    #rape culture  #sex culture  #sex positive 

    hisstericalhysterectomy:

    Shirt designs, easily made into cut stencils.

    Couple color ideas.

    Credit for idea goes to Jessica

    obsessed.

    — 2 years ago with 18 notes
    #rape  #rape culture  #consent  #riot  #grrl  #sex  #sex life  #consensual sex  #consensual  #shirt 
    Freedom for Survivors →

    tahlalalia:

    This page is to secure reproductive healthcare including abortion, emergency contraception, anti-viral meds, and rape kits to all women survivors of sexual trauma worldwide by engaging in social and governmental dialogue and activism.

    PLEASE reblog and support this page. If my “Sexual assault is not a punchline” page could get over 2700 likes then this deserving cause can as well. Help it get the support in numbers it deserves, I am looking forward to seeing how this pans out and what action this page will take. 

    (via avocadobabydoll-deactivated2013)

    — 2 years ago with 62 notes
    #rape  #sexual assault  #sexual abuse  #healthcare  #rape survivor  #feminism  #activism  #emergency contraception  #abortion  #rape kits  #sexual trauma  #sexual violence  #gendered violence  #rape culture  #anti rape  #rape victim 

    riverwaltz:

    Mamawaltz:  “Today was the Slut Walk here.  It’s very controversial, so I read up on it.  I say you go girls!”

    — 2 years ago with 3 notes
    #slut walk  #feminism  #rape culture  #she's not like a regular mom. she's a cool mom.