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keep it consensual: ask first!

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(con)sensual is a dynamic, sex-positive campaign about enthusiastic consent. The campaign works to create safe spaces for dialogue on consent, educate college students about consent and their sexual rights, and encourage young people to integrate consent into their sexual practices. We love sex, and we love you. We live online here and on Twitter. (Our website is on the way.)

(con)sensual currently lives at American University in Washington, DC, where it was founded in 2009. The campaign will be available to all campuses nationwide within the year.

    Sex Tips for Girls on Girls, Ladies on Ladies, Clits on Clits, People with Vaginas, etc.


    Things I Wish Someone Had Told Me Before I Started Getting Down

    I know that there are lots of really shitty portrayals of dynamics between hetero couples in the media. I would really love it if we could just see people talking about sex in a relaxed way, and talking during sex would be even better. What the mainstream media gives us is this toxic shit and we are left with the challenge of unlearning it. Even worse, representations of lesbian (queer, clit-clit, etc.) sexual relationships are few and far between. We have no examples. We are drawn together far before we really know how to treat one another and often end up hurting each other in the process.

    <3 Definitions of what constitutes sex between women (queers, clits, etc.)  tend to be personal and various. Don’t impose your own definition onto other people. This is where heteronormative models of virginity can be really damaging. Enjoy your experience for what it is.

    <3 “Virgins” have agency. Just because someone has never had sex with another person before does not mean that they are not a sexual being. All people have the power to know what they want and ask for it, regardless of previous experience.

    <3 Not every sexual interaction must involve “giving” and “receiving.” Just because someone wants to fuck you, doesn’t mean that they want you you to fuck them. Just because someone wants you to fuck them, doesn’t mean they want to fuck you.

    <3 Variations in gender expression will greatly shape your interactions with different people. Meet people where they are.

    <3 Someone might not want you to touch them in certain places or in certain ways. This is personal for each individual. It is not about you, do not take it personally.

    <3 Not everyone is into vaginal penetration. This should be a talking point.

    <3 Masturbation and sex are different things. Just because they might involve similar sorts of genitalia does not mean that one is “practice” for the other.

    <3 Sex is not a skill. The idea that sex is something that you perform on another person is…icky. Good sex is about compatibility and communication.

    <3 Take pleasure in giving pleasure.

    <3 Women (queers, people with vaginas, etc.) are not “safer” than cis men. We are just as capable of hurting each other.

    <3 Talk about triggers. Looks for signs.

    <3 Lesbians (women who have sex with women, people with vaginas, etc.) are not immune from STIs. I know that people know this in theory, but it can still be difficult to practice in practice. Open communication and barriers (dental dams, gloves)!

    <3 Consent. Consent. Consent.

    (Source: throughmotion)

    — 3 years ago with 27 notes
    #angry queers  #clits on clits  #consent  #getting down  #girls on girls  #ladies on ladies  #lesbian  #queer  #sex  #sex tips  #sexuality  #vaginas  #virginity  #women  #clit  #clitoris  #queer sex  #advice  #femme experience  #fucking  #touching 
    Consent Day @ Dartmouth 2011


    So yesterday was Dartmouth’s (or maybe everywhere?) consent day, supporting consensual sex and awareness and all that good stuff.

    They were giving out free t-shirts so Dylan and I went to check it out.

    When we got there we learned you had to get a “passport” from the “Condom Fairy” and get nine signatures from various booths to get your shirt, so we grabbed our passports and the Condom Fairy gave Dylan a condom and we were off!

    One of the booths we went to was manned by a group called “Wise” which focused on help for those who have been abused in a relationship or sexually assaulted, the girl gave us each two stacks of help information to hang around campus and signed our cards, I grabbed some other stuff too.

    We also hit up the Planned Parenthood booth for some sigs, they didn’t require us to do anything. Dylan grabbed a pen and I snatched a button for my friend Katrina.

    Various things from other booths. The bubbles and the ball were from a booth where you had to answer questions about sexual assault victims, like likeliness to develop an addiction etc. The candy was from a booth where you grabbed a rubber duck out of the water and got candy out of the bag according to the shape on your duck, then you had to make a flyer about why consensual sex was hot. Mine said “Consensual sex is hot because it means you care” Dylan wrote “Consensual sex is hot because only gross people have unconsensual sex” The color changing pencil was from a booth advertising a class here for women on self defense. And the condom was from the Condom Fairy >.>

    I can’t remember where the bookmarks came from, but I liked the message and accidentally grabbed a bunch because they were all stuck together.

    And last but not least, the free shirts and a form we were given to sign when we got them.

    All in all it was a fun time and we learned something too.

    Like flavored lube is nasty. (There was a booth with lube tasting that no one was at so we were like, why not? Guess the flavor. So gross. I guess strawberry-kiwi to be mint and tangerine to be banana. Ew.)

    Consensual sex is hot. No means no. If you don’t know, ask.

    And all that good stuff.

    -Rya <3

    this is cute.

    everyday needs to be consensual day.

    i want every day to look like this.

    (Source: )

    — 3 years ago with 12 notes
    #me  #sex  #consent  #college  #photography  #text  #girl  #advice  #wise  #helpful