i am not able to log into facebook until i apologize for doing valid feminist work in the nation’s capital.
in the past few days, presumably, a woman named “kim” (i will not reveal her last name or her email address) reported some of the slutwalk content on my own profile (i am unsure which content, because i have not logged back in) as “offensive” or “harassment.” although she is referring to this past week’s 2012 slutwalk, i was only present in 2011, where i spoke and was therefore photographed.
her message to me, along with her contact information, was included in a facebook “checkpoint” which stops me from accessing my account until i accept that my involvement with last year’s DC slutwalk breeches the facebook community standards and guidelines. (as a point of clarification, valid reasons to be successfully blocked from your profile on facebook include nudity, stealing intellectual property, and inciting or threatening to commit acts of violence. i did none of the listed behaviors within the community standards document on facebook’s website.)
i refuse to click “continue” and re-enter my facebook because i should never have been interrupted. by clicking “continue,” i am apologizing for something i refuse to apologize for, and i am also allowing what occurred to occur again.
considering facebook tolerates racism, rape jokes, and other offensive material in the name of “free speech,” it is weird to be banned from my own account merely for doing social justice work. but it is at least good to know that i was correct to assume that the only speech freely allowed on facebook is white, cisgender, straight, male speech by individuals attempting to oppress everyone else.
for now you can reach me on twitter or even send me a message here on tumblr. i also have a google plus.
peace out, zuckerfuck.
remember when our CEO spoke at slutwalk? facebook has removed all proof it ever happened.
"While communicating consent may seem like it only matters in the early stages of a romantic relationship, it is also an issue for long-term couples. Granted, if you have been intimate with someone for a while you probably have a sense of their preferences and boundaries (and if you don’t, you might want to start paying more attention). But something that felt good before may suddenly become uncomfortable. If that happens, the same rules apply. If it’s your boundaries that have changed, be willing to say so. Length of relationship does not cancel out consent, so if you’re the one being told to stop, stop."
"What those trying to aggressively market an ever more “exotic sex life” fail to realize is that sexual preferences aren’t shaped by artifice. Buying a leather slapper won’t suddenly give you a penchant for spanking—and let’s face it, if you were really into the idea in the first place, you probably would have gone DIY and just picked up a hairbrush long before now. Making people feel shitty about their vanilla-ness is mainly a capitalist calculation. As any marketing exec knows, the moment people become satisfied is the moment they stop buying stuff."
“How can one engage in dirty talk if your first impulse is to laugh at how silly you sound? What role does humor have in dirty talk, if any?”
"However, the biggest hurdle is that many societies don’t recognise young people as sexual beings. Without acknowledging the fact that people have sex at all ages, and often before marriage, we are doing a huge disservice to those very people we are trying to provide quality services to."
"I don’t care how much sex anyone has, how often they do it, or who they do it with. I’m much more interested in the consent, pleasure, and well-being of the participants and the people affected by it. I respect women who are asexual, celibate, monogamous, multi-partnered, or have had more partners than they can recall. I respect women who only have sex after a commitment to monogamy and those who have sex with someone within minutes of meeting them. I respect women who have transactional sex, women who have sex for love, or for any other reason. I know that all of these categories are permeable and that many women move from one to another. And I know that any of these decisions can be made from a place of personal power, choice, and authenticity, as well as from a place of coercion, shame, and disempowerment."
Happy Valentine’s Day!
We gave out these goodie bags at Simmons on Valentine’s Day. Each one had three condoms, two packets of lube, one dental dam, “75 ways to make love without doing it,” information on health ed at Simmons, how to use a dental dam and condom, and, of course, some Hershey’s Kisses. We gave out over 100 in an hour! Make it fun, make it safe, make it consensual! Love, Sex @ Simmons.
"The issue of “consent” encompasses the ways we ask for sex, and the ways we don’t. It’s about more than the letter of the law, and, like all sexual issues, at its heart is communication. Without our speaking up and demanding that our lovers do, too, we don’t ever truly know what they are thinking, which impedes us from having the sex we could be having."
"Rape culture is a culture in which people who have survived a violent crime are asked to laugh about it because other people think it’s funny."
(i wish i could put this on a business card and hand it out to people who make rape jokes. the flip side would say FUCK YOU)
(Source: goforthandagitate, via laurenlivingroom)